support

It's the only thing that will carry us through.  We've got to know we're not alone.  There are so many out there that have lost a child or more.  But joining a support group was something that I had to think about for a long time.  Granted it was only a few months in normal time but when it comes to grieving, time really has no structure.  It just moment after moment and when you think of all the moments that have gone by, it really is a long time.  Now, I'm in a wonderful group.  The best thing about it is the fact that there is no structure.  We don't sit around and talk about our feelings because it's not a therapy session.  And as some may tell you, therapists aren't always what they're cracked up to be.  Why pay someone who's not going to listen to YOU but instead talk about where they're from.  It's happened.  For some, having the do this/do that perspective on topics gives some step by step idea of the grief process...or that's how I see it.  I've thought about going to a topic based group but the idea of talking to strangers about everything is overwhelming even now.  So, until then, if I get there, I'll stay in my new found niche.  Either way.  Support is absolutely necessary in helping me and other bereaved parents get through this.  But be aware that there is no expiration on grief.  We will never get OVER the deaths of our children....only miss them more as we look back and see where they'd be at any certain time.  Gone, but not forgotten.