Baby Showers

Let me start off by saying, as a bereaved parent, that although I appreciate the host of a baby shower inviting me to celebrate someone's baby coming, I won't be lining up to give gifts.  This feels awkward in a way because, again as a bereaved parent, I am throwing a baby shower for a church friend whose home was destroyed in the April tornadoes.  I keep telling myself it's crazy and I'm the last person that should be throwing a shower but then I realize that this tragedy has turned their lives upside down, much like the deaths of my boys.  No, it is not the same thing but we are responding in much the same way.  We are both upset about what has happened, respectively.  We ask why what happened had to happen to us.  Other people's homes are fine.  Other people's babies are fine.  Other people get to move on as if nothing has happened because that is one of the harsh realities for survivors of any kind.  Life does move on whether you're keeping up or not.  Before I start rambling too bad let's get back to the topic at hand.  I've been invited to another baby shower but as a bereaved parent I am very selective about who's shower I attend.  If you're an acquaintance, I'm likely not to show.  A close friend?  I'll want to, but again the idea of celebrating someone else doing what I can't somehow repeat, is a hard thing to deal with.  You'll likely understand if I just can't do it.  Family?  I'll grit my teeth and do it, because family is family.  This friend has lost everything.  They need this. I am more than willing to put my grief aside and help a family get back on its feet for a baby that deserves to come into an unscathed world, unknowing of the circumstances.  This all said, regardless of who you are, regardless if I attend your shower or not; I am happy for you.  Babies are wonderful things.  Life is precious and is worth celebrating.